We continually enter a new phase, and mourn the previous phase.
This usually happens without our knowledge or direction, we just follow along blindly as life changes us.
Even when we think we are making plans and meeting goals, our life is most often simply a reaction to a phase that has just been put upon us.
Think of birth, and you get the idea.
Think of becoming a parent, and it's just the same.
Marriage, schooling, illness, starting a business, success or failure of a business, etc., it's all a phase, and we measure time by these major events in our lives.
Even if we instigate the phase or change, unless we have experienced the exact situation in the exact place and time sometime in the past, we really don't know what to expect.
Think of moving across the country. Even if you are moving back to your home neighborhood where you grew up, the people, and surroundings have undoubtedly changed throughout the years.
Nothing is static. Nothing stays the same.
This is the nature of life itself.
So, I went to my neighbor's burial today.
The funeral was a few days ago, but the burial was a private, peaceful affair today - just 5 of us.
I was surprised when Jeri (my surviving neighbor) asked each of us to say a word about our experience with Jim.
"This is just his next phase," I said, and I believe it is.
Jim always knew and honored my phase since we both had populated our brand new court almost 20 years ago.
I brought my newborn babies home to this house, and all the neighbors witnessed it, and came by to see the new inhabitants of our little culdesac.
Every time I saw Jim, he would ask, "How are you?" and "How are the boys?"
Now, I will honor his phase, and remember him well.
I know the next phase that is coming. (barring any major illness or accident)
I am preparing for my little home to only house two people, two dogs, and a cat within the next 5 years or so.
I have no idea how that will feel. I only have the feelings that have resulted from my fears of this new unknown phase.
As long as I don't get stuck in these fears, and allow them to seep into my soul to become a part of me, I'll get through them, and step into this next phase, hopefully with grace.
Day 7 of my promise:
- 20 push ups & 50 squats (tomorrow I do PiYo!)
- Come ti chiami? - What's your name?
- Recording young men singing Graph Salad
- Wrote an article for The Good Men Project
- Started another article for BTT
What phase are you in, currently?
Did it surprise you when it hit, or do you really think you were prepared?