Acceptance was my goal today, and taking a hike with my two pups gave me that.
Last night, and for the previous four nights, my two wonderful sons have stayed up until about 1am.
I, however, went to bed at 9pm.
We have a small home, and sound travels quite well throughout it.
So, when my eldest yells during his heated online gaming with his friends, I wake up.
When my youngest goes into the kitchen to get a drink, or make a cup of tea, I wake up.
I'm not proud to say that after four nights of this - remember, they are only on week two of their three week winter break - I was done!
I got up at 12:45am, and yelled at them for their disrespect.
I was raised in a loud, yelling, non-compassionate, non-accepting, Italian family, and I'm afraid I have been trying to uncover the calm, kindness underneath that training since I left at age 18.
This morning, I went for a hike of perspective, and it helped.
This is what I saw...
Facing West, this old, bare, gnarled tree trunk was the natural representation of the cel towers that flanked it...not the most beautiful view.
We hike quite a lot in our family. We've scaled two mountains in California - Mt. Ralston at over 9,000 feet, and Mitchell Peak at over 10,000 feet, so we get out into nature every chance we get, and during every season.
So, this view was more to my liking!
When I got home, I apologized to my handsome sons, and talked about how they would feel if our roles were reversed.
How would Evan feel if I banged pots and pans while emptying the dishwasher at 7am this morning, and woke him up.
How would Riley feel if I let the cat into his room after she was fed, so she could knead on his pillow, and wake him up for pets.
I simply asked that if they should choose to stay up that late that they consider the other family members, and stay quiet, please.
I got hugs all around, and checked myself with deep breaths. I need to take many more deep breaths before speaking, and if I do, we all may be happier, and more calm.
You have no idea how many deep breaths I already take to stop myself from saying the first thing that comes to my mind, but I'm nowhere near the accepting, compassionate person I'm working toward.
Work in progress right here, and the change in perspective during my hike this morning has helped me work a little closer to uncovering the Mary underneath.
Day 3 of my promise:
- 3 mile hike with the pups
- 20 push ups
- 45 squats
- Piacere! (Pleased to meet you!)
- BTT blog post
Thanks for reading, and coming along on this journey, my friends.
How are you doing on your promises for the new year?
Let me know in the comments below, and we can cheer each other on!