Innovation and Power Meet Passion
Mary Kathryn Johnson
  • Home
  • Mary's Blog
  • Books
    • Say Bump
    • The Ones We Carry
  • Writers I Follow
  • About
  • Contact

Ca Bella

2/14/2012

12 Comments

 
Ca Bella Eyes of Beauty
(I decided to write this post in response to the Beauty of a Woman Blogfest, and Kristen Lamb's post about her thighs.  It is too late to enter the Blogfest, but I was inspired never-the-less.) 

I heard these words spoken by my maternal Grandmother almost daily when I was young.  I didn't know their meaning, I felt it.  My Sicilian Grandmother was telling me I was beautiful.  I saw it in her eyes and felt it in her gentle caress of my cheek and tilt of my chin as she kissed me, and said, "Ca Bella."  That was my first inkling that I mattered in this world, that I was beautiful and loved, and I have carried that all of my 48 years.  This deep understanding has determines my walk, my posture, my speech, my demeanor, my actions, and my passing on of that knowledge of self to my sons, occasionally my husband and all souls I greet who are also beautiful.

Just to clear things up before you click that little red "x" in the corner and say to yourself, "This lady is so arrogant and full of herself the entire internet couldn't hold up her head!", I will tell you now that I am completely confident my features, body, talent and answer to that all important last question will never win me the Mrs. America Pageant.  Do you really think I'm only talking about physical beauty?  Think again...
  • I verbally and vehemently refuse to dye my gray hair - I've earned every one of them, I'm certainly NOT a maintenance-type person and I think it's too uncool for my kids at school to see me walking around skunk-like in between dye-jobs.
  • The wrinkles on my face show the road I have traveled and the tracks the living of my life has left, I would no more smooth them out as I would unlive my life.
  • My hands also show the work I have done, both physical - having glovelessly  saddled many a horse, driven many a tractor and cleaned many a dish - and mental from fingers with short fingernails and jagged cuticles pounding out blogs, books and poems on the keyboard.
Of course, my grandmother (for whom I was named) was biased, and if you think it was easy for her to say, "How Beautiful" when looking at me, just take a gander at this 5th Grade picture...

Mary Kathryn Johnson 10 years old beautiful and loved
Yes, the woman was a saint!  She did not live past my 16th birthday, and I would not model my life after her life, but I carry with me and have modeled my life after her words, love and strength.

Just look into my eyes...go ahead, they're right up there in the first picture accompanying this blog post...and tell me what you see.  There were no touch-ups to the photo - only brightening of the light and deepening of the shadows - and no photographer can claim copyrights unless my Mac suddenly becomes self-aware (is Apple working on this?), so what you see is what you get - interpret as you will.

I was given much as a child, and, unfortunately, much was taken away from me at an early age.  Every experience has built on the other, and allowed me to build a life that has led me right here.  I can only hope that I pass on the beauty and love I was given to all I meet, especially my own sons, and all the women in my life. 


How do I do that?  I don't say, "Ca Bella" every time I see or touch them - boys just don't respond to "You are Beautiful" like girls, and saying that to an adult woman would just be weird.  I do say, "L'amo, mi amore'," to my boys, because none of their friends know what it means, but my boys hear it and feel it - "I Love You, My Love,"  and praise them for the choices that will lead them to becoming strong, loving young men.  I also pay attention to the lives of my girlfriends, support who and what they love and show them that I value their wisdom when they honor me with it. 

That, to me, is Beauty...That, to me, is Love!  How do you show those around you that they - by, with, and through you - are beautiful and loved?  Please share, on this of all days!

~Mary Kathryn Johnson 2012
Author ~ Entrepreneur ~ Mom

@SayBumpandTweet
Say Bump and Take a Left
Everything MommyLoves

12 Comments
Jo VonBargen link
2/14/2012 09:29:16 am

This is soooo lovely, MK! And so true. Our view of ourselves depends hugely on how we are treated as children by our loved ones. Fab write!!

Reply
Mary Kathryn Johnson link
2/14/2012 11:31:59 am

Thanks Jo ~ My memory of my grandmother is wonderful, loving and totally Italian! I am so blessed that I can carry that with me, and share it.

Reply
Christina Carson
2/14/2012 11:45:53 am

Beautiful, MK, and so very true. Beauty is a product of what's inside us shining through. When I look at your eyes above,the warmth of the love that shines through - that's beauty.

Reply
Mary Kathryn Johnson link
2/14/2012 11:52:00 am

Christina...then my grandmother would be proud. Thank you for seeing within.

Reply
David L Atkinson link
2/14/2012 03:52:08 pm

I enjoyed this MK and you touch on the difficulty of conveying similar messages to boys and have come up with a superb solution. It's not just girls that have problems with self-image.

Reply
Mary Kathryn Johnson link
2/15/2012 01:04:58 am

AMEN, David! I never knew this growing up without brothers, but my sons and husband are teaching me that boys are human too! ;o) I can't offer the male perspective, but I can surely give everything a mother can give to help my boys mature into confident young men!

Reply
Gilly Fraser link
2/14/2012 09:53:46 pm

I don't have any kids of my own, but I tell my cats, dogs and horses they're gorgeous and special and beautiful all the time - and even though they may not know the words, they certainly understand their meaning!
Lovely post - and in many ways I'm definitely a kindred spirit - except I will have to fess up to colouring my hair. Some women look fantastic grey - but at the moment I'm too much of a coward to find out what I'd look like!

Reply
Mary Kathryn Johnson link
2/15/2012 01:07:59 am

Yes, Gilly, we sound like kindred spirits! Any living creature will feel the love conveyed through the words, and my cats, dogs and horses of the past have felt mine...except when they wanted to go back to the barn, but there were still sheep to herd...

Some days, I look in the mirror and cringe at the gray, and I won't say 'Never' to coloring my hair - thinking I know at 48 how I will feel when I turn 60 is arrogant in the extreme!

Reply
Caleb Pirtle link
2/14/2012 10:13:17 pm

Grandmothers say what we want to hear and need to hear. But when grandmother says it, we believe it, which is why grandmothers are so important in life.

Reply
Mary Kathryn Johnson link
2/15/2012 01:10:06 am

Yes, Caleb, and I am very lucky to have had a wonderful grandmother who participated in my life. I wish I had the same for my sons, but they lost their grandmother 3 years ago, and the other grandmother isn't interested in their lives. I will just have to give them what they need, and surround them with loving adults - like their grandfather!

Reply
Andrea Bandle link
2/15/2012 12:56:34 am

What a beautiful reminder. Thanks for all the love and support you share with everyone around you - which can be especially challenging amongst all the testosterone. The men in your life are lucky to have someone who is strong enough to bring about those loving qualities everyone needs, regardless of gender.

Reply
Mary Kathryn Johnson link
2/15/2012 01:11:44 am

Thanks Andrea ~ Yes, swimming in the testosterone pool can be challenging sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for the alternative...especially going through middle school!

Reply



Leave a Reply.


    Download my Most Powerful Tool to Get it ALL Done as a Parent & Author!

    Author

    Hi, I'm Mary, a woman constantly working toward becoming a Master of herself and all things named Duane, Evan, Riley, Seren, Linus and Katie ~ that's why it's so messy around here.


    Archives

    January 2016
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011

    Categories

    All
    9 11
    Choices
    Communication
    Creativity
    Dad
    Do What You Love
    Dream
    Dust
    Empower
    Entrepreneur
    Every Mom
    Follow Your Bliss
    Grandparents
    Growing Up
    Growth
    Help Me Self Publish
    Holiday
    Learning From Mistakes
    Loss
    Love
    Mary Kathryn Johnson
    Michelangelo
    Mommyloves
    Mompreneur
    Mother Theresa
    Omelets
    Parenting
    Political Correctness
    Politics
    Regret
    Rhythm
    Say Bump And Take A Left
    Search Engine Optimization
    Selfish
    Self Publish
    September 11
    Summer Vacation
    Take Action
    Therapy
    Tragedy
    Triberr
    Twitter
    Wordless Wednesday
    Writing

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.